Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thoughts

I love my books lately!

oooooooooooohhh!

So, it's been a few weeks since I blogged and things have remained pretty much the same here in the 'ham. It's been difficult adjusting to a new place and a new lifestyle. Although everyone here is super nice, it's still not "home" yet.
I have been going to a Wednesday morning bible study with CMMA ladies and yesterday we had a guest speaker who was amazing. I seriously felt like she was exactly who I am when she was at this point in her own life. Her husband is a GI doc and she shared her feelings and "monsters under her bed" that she struggle with during residency, fellowship and still to this day. Those "monsters" are the same evils that I continue to struggle with: pride, jealousy, perfection, and measuring up.
I was extremely excited about moving to Alabama, David having an income, and me getting to stay home with Margot and giving her my undivided attention, but it has been much harder than I'd imagined. I had forgotten how intimidating "southern women" are (to me) and how our income was definitely "enough", but somehow not and that spending every moment with a one year old can be extremely isolating and super exhausting! Don't get me wrong, there have been some girls that have really reached out to me and for that I am truly appreciative! But, I just have to keep telling myself that friendships take time...(which we only have one year here and I could go on about that soapbox, but I'll stick to this one for the moment!)
The moral of the story is that no "thing" is ever enough...only the Lord Jesus is enough! I can only fill these voids in my life with Him and until I do that, I will stay jealous, prideful, and unfulfilled. Our speaker left us with a fabulous verse:
"Though the cherry tree doesn't blossom
And the strawberries don't ripen,
Though the apples are worm eaten
and the wheat fields are stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless,
and the cattle barns empty,
I'm singing joyful praise to God.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a dear,
he enables me to go on the heights. "
Habakkuk 3:17-19

On another note, Margot is still AWESOME! here are some pics!